Plenty of Fish in the Sea

Today someone found my blog by googling "feeling old at 30" which is so incredibly depressing. Number one, 30 is not old. Number two, this blog doesn't offer much in the way of consolation. I'm sorry.

I think what really pains me about the whole thing is that the motivations of this specific google user aren't even clear. She --I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume it was a woman who just watched some Hannah Montana at her niece's birthday party or something --didn't phrase the search as a question, as in "Feeling old at 30? Not me."

Nor was it a firm, confident statement: "Feeling old at 30!"

It wasn't even an acceptance of age: "Do you feel old at 30? Let's feel old together!"

No, sadly it was just plain: "feeling old at 30, can't use capital letters or adequate punctuation, kinda depressed, need answers, help me google"

So I change my mind and want you to know, you anonymous googler, that I do offer up some consolation. Cry on my blog's shoulder, pick yourself up off the floor, put on a coat of mofo'n mascara and go to plentyoffish

Go catch a winner so that I can stop using lame fishing metaphors.

PS - other honourable mentions that I was too tired to come up with puns/extended metaphors for: Jdate, and the infamous AshleyMadison.

1 comment:

Julia said...

ahhh the grammar monster, or lack of should i say.

I use to be a moderator for an online dating and sometimes i would have to read posts that were essays, hundreds of lines long, with no punctuation or paragraphs. It was an absolute nightmare.

My grammar is far from perfect i will admit, but sometimes it is so hard to make sense of it all, when the punctuation is practically non existant