the moment you've all been waiting for

Before getting knocked out with the super fun IV I requested to keep my wisdom teeth. I stupidly assumed that they would give me some perfect pearly white things in a clean bag but it turned out to be the opposite.

On my way out of the hospital, still balling my eyes out and talking like I was drunk, the nurse gave me a package of bloody teeth. I kept on looking at the bag being like, this, this is all I get?! After the pain and terror of the surgery I half expected the bag to be an iridescent pink think with a note signed by the tooth fairy and a $100 gift certificate to Swiss Chalet.

What's most disgusting is that they don't even bother to take the gums off of the teeth. They let you get home, pop a couple percocet and get high before you attempt to rip strips of your own mouth off the stupid things. I eventually went at the molars with a knife, specifically for your viewing pleasure.

It's one thing to show your teeth on the internet for entertainment, it's an entirely other issue to do that with flapping gums still attached.

Once again, you can thank me later.



Mike said...

wow all you got was percocet?

you got jipped.

lowercasecarmen said...

I thought they were pretty good?! Actually, I have to fight the urge to take them every day now.

You know, escape the horrors of anxiety and what not. The usual.