graduation the right way

I've had to drop by campus several times this week to hand in some take-home essays, and each time I get there I'm like, c'mon! I'm graduating, where are all the sirens and kazoos? I forget that every year there is a graduating class, and as a friend pointed out to me, the difference between me and them is modesty.

This last semester, aside from stresses, has been so underwhelming. Like, geez, I've worked so hard and then all I get to do is walk quietly off campus for the last time?

I wish that you got an exit interview on the late show, or ellen...I'd even settle for a slot on the tyra(nnical) show.

Ellen: Carmen! Carmen you look great!

Carmen: Oh gosh, Ellen stop it. No, stop it, I just threw on this outfit.

Ellen: Well how does it feel? I mean, look, you spent the last four years in school is that right?

Carmen: Yeah, oh it's no big deal...

Ellen: Yes it is! Celebrate girl! You know what you need? A dance party!

[Ellen and I would dance around the audience and I'd be giving high fives all over the place and then we'd end with one of those hip bumps].

Ellen: Carmen! You're such a good dancer too.

Carmen: Oh I'm just having fun, [look out to the audience and raise my hand] it's these guys who are the real stars!

Ellen: Well yeah. But we're moving off topic, let's focus on you.

Carmen: Gosh Ellen, whatta you wanna know?

Ellen: Tell me, I heard you have this whacky talent.

Carmen: Oh no, what do have up your sleeve?! [I'll lean back in my chair and start to laugh]

Ellen: I heard you can lick your elbow!!!

Carmen: Oh who told you that!? I'm gonna kill my agent [the camera pans to my agent in a pantsuit backstage shrugging and laughing] Oh well okay okay, if you really insist that I show this off on public television.

[lick elbow, crowd goes wild]

Ellen: Okay, we have one more surprise for everybody here today.

Carmen: You all get...PINA COLADAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!