I used to roll out of Montreal on the classy VIA rail train, but now, slightly more impoverished and always last minute I rely on the sketchy rideshare. I drove to and from Toronto with a weird frenchman who explained several things to me:
1) The entire plotline and premise of the "Twilight" series movie. I told him vampire movies weren't really my thing and he said, "No, these vampires are different. The movie was more about story and love...but cool."
2) Cheating on your girlfriend is only bad when you don't have enough energy to come home and have sex with her too. Why was his girlfriend getting on his case about those questionable facebook photos?! Why was she accusing him of cheating yet again? There was NO possible way she could have seen him go to that chick's apartment at 4 am on a Sunday. "Facebook," he whined, "it is the death of me!"
3) "Texting, it is very (h)ard when it is dark and you are driving." Agreed.
4) Women are like nutella jars. Too many spoons and no one wants a dip. He thought this analogy was particularly astute.
5) Leaving your cat alone in an apartment for 6 weeks is okay. Sure, they rip everything up, look dirty and matted, and you receive emails from your neighbours stating that the animal is stuck between the window and the window screen --but it's possible. "The cat wasn't stuck!" he said, "those neighbours are stewpid. She was just bored."
6) Crazy French men DO name their cats "Poutine".
7) Women are over the hill after 21. Once [we] hit a ripe old age of 22 our baby skin is gone and our hips are fat. "I guess it's for da babies," he said.
In the course of our 6 hour ride his girlfriend went from being angry at him, to admitting that she had stolen all his internet passwords (for email, facebook, etc.) to telling him that she was totally done with all his lying and cheating. Done, done, done. I silently thought that this was a good move for her, seeing as her philosophies about relationships clearly weren't matching up with his.
On Sunday's drive home he admitted to me that they were back together. The problem wasn't that he felt sad or guilty, or even that he really wanted to make the relationship work despite his penchant for cheating, but rather that "to break up in person, when she is crying in da Tim (H)ortons's, is very much (h)arder to do than when I text her."
And like any good fairy tale, this one has a moral: technology makes our lives easier.
1 comment:
ahahahaaamazing!
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