My Demise

I can remember my mother warning me at a very young age about smoking.

"You know, once you start you just can't stop," she said sadly, getting up from the table to pour her 4th cup of coffee that day.

A good cautionary piece of advice for a young pup, but perhaps not specific enough for the literal mind of 6 year old. I understood "can't" in this case to mean "not allowed" and carried along happily. I didn't question the logic of "not being allowed to quit smoking" because like I said, I WAS SIX YEARS OLD.

Later my uncle would go on to quit smoking while I sat at Christmas dinner scared stiff, wondering when the police would arrive to take him away. I may have mentioned before that my mother was worried about my intellectual development as a kid...

I think, though, what stuck with me from that whole misconstrued situation was the understanding that addiction can be like a relentless gravitational pull. Once you start, you just can't stop. I decided crack and smack would have to be ruled out without even a taste.

Even today I'm weary of addiction and yet...well, I need to get something off my chest. In the last 24 hours I've eaten an entire box of Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs. I've already started on box number two and just a moment ago I was tipping it into my open mouth, a mouth that I can't even say was waiting patiently.

I just closed the tabs on the box and I'm already getting the shakes. Please, remember, ONCE YOU START YOU JUST CAN'T STOP.