hola como estas!

It's kind of awesome having a foreign cousin whose North American pop culture references are so far out of date. Sometimes my cousin will message me on facebook being like, "have you heard movie Grease?!?! So good, so so funny, with the song that make two people singing?!!"

You betcha. You should watch Free Willy next, it's epic.

eeeester feeester recap

Here are some pictures of last night's feast. Brittney and Thea are domestic goddesses that sort of function like calm siamese twins in the eye of a storm. While the rest of us are loitering around the kitchen being useless and wondering if the bird will cook on time, B is just using her 8 arms to multi-task. She baked a turkey and a ham at the same time. When I told her that I might not be able to make it to dinner, that I had so many exams and essays to finish she admitted that yes, dinner was sort of early and no I probably wouldn't get any work done for the rest of the night, but Jesus did die for my sins. Yeesh girl, I'm there.

people post pictures of their cat when they have nothing else to say

I just overdosed on a giant easter feast.
I dropped a hilarious knee-slapper about vegans to the only vegans at the party.
I finished one third of a final take-home exam.
I told myself I would come home and work some more but I'm exhausted.
I laughed a lot and was thankful for an extended period of time in which I wasn't citing religious texts in MLA.
I thought of this hilarious zinger about Julia Roberts that I'll pull out when the timing is right and then saw a post about her on this sweet girl blog.
I have the four day countdown to graduation on!
I plan to go to my favourite bakery in Montreal the day after I'm done and buy several creme brulees.
I should go to the gym.

I think I'm gonna go google image search pictures of Miley Cyrus's studly boyfriend and then pass out.

this is a message to all you haters

I think he's actually holding a bible here (Image credit: disneydreaming.com)

After seeing Brittney's post (seriously, go read it or this whole thing won't make any sense) I had to do a post-response. Response-post? There's gotta be a better term for that.

Let me start out by saying that unlike my girl B, I think I have totally hit rock bottom with this one. Taylor Swift? I had to wikipedia her ass just to figure out whose voice I was listening to. Singer-songwriter, model, probably does something else too like baking and ballet --just enough to make her a quadruple threat.

The admittedly lame series of events which led me to even discover who this 5'11" chica (yeah, just go ahead and throw that in my face too Taylor) started with Facebook. Obviously, in an effort to further procrastinate during exams I was looking at the profile of a girl I used to babysit. The reason I looked at her profile is because she just won the Miss Teen British Columbia contest. Okay, so before I continue degrading myself let's do a quick round up to fully illustrate how lame I get when 5 essays are hovering menacingly over my head: I go on facebook, I look at someone's profile I haven't spoken to in over 5 years, this leads me to Youtube, and then to Wikipedia to educate my stupid (read: old and out of touch) ass.

So Miss Teen B.C. (who by the way is a hilarious, kind, etc, etc person) has posted a video of a party she went to where essentially this song, "Love Story" came on and every single attendee knew the words. It was like a music video but in real life. They were happy, they were excited, they were hugging and swaying and really connecting with the whole Romeo and Juliet theme. And then there I was, sitting dumbfounded because:

a) I had never, never heard this song. I was that older person who just had no clue what was going on.

and b) They are so young! So small! So happy and unburdened by the weight of life!

It incited this horrible onslaught of memories, nostalgia, nausea...sadness. Would I be a complete douche bag if I said the whole experience made me "profoundly sad"?


Looking good dood (Image credit: cisoto.blogspot.com)

And then of course, to add insult to injury, I watch the stupid Taylor Swift version and start to like it/feel the same way. She's all, ha bitches, I'm a princess and I'm not writing exams. Also, she gets to frolic in a field with Miley Cyrus's boyfriend while I google image search pictures of him in his underwear.

Now that is rock bottom, Brit Brit.


Trying to make a good impression on the gf's dad. Looking a bit old Mr. Ray but who's comparing? Eh? Amiright? (Image credit: nachofphoto.com)

y'all don't know me!

When I was in grade seven I went through a really awesome white eye-liner phase that probably lasted a bit too long. Of course the phase was not marked solely by white eyeliner, there was also blue mascara and lots of shiny lipgloss. I looked like an idiot and yet my mom was never like, "Hey clown, look in the mirror!" before I left the house. In hindsight I can't tell if that was a considerate or inconsiderate move. Was it testament of unconditional love? A hidden desire for someone else to call me a clown? I can't be sure.



Since then there have been other memorable phases, like the period of my life where I only wore skin tight jeans (no pocket allowed!) paired with baggy sweatshirts, or the summer I spent 23 hours a day on msn. I'd like to be able to recall a more positive phase, like that winter I planted trees or raised money for endangered wildlife, but those just never really caught on. I was too busy buying trying to make myself beautiful.



The other night I was chatting with Tony and I mentioned how I eat pancakes or waffles (Hello Kitty waffles specifically) every morning. He was like, every morning? And then I thought, oh God, it's another phase.

Ha, um, no...not every morning. Just now and again when I feel like it.



But in all honesty, yes, affirmative, I do eat pancakes or waffles each morning, and I make them from scratch. Today's batch was banana cinnamon. The pro about this phase is that I don't look like a clown while doing it. The con is that my ass will probably grow.



I promise that even though they kind of look like barf, they taste really good. Even better than eyeliner.

Plenty of Fish in the Sea

Today someone found my blog by googling "feeling old at 30" which is so incredibly depressing. Number one, 30 is not old. Number two, this blog doesn't offer much in the way of consolation. I'm sorry.

I think what really pains me about the whole thing is that the motivations of this specific google user aren't even clear. She --I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume it was a woman who just watched some Hannah Montana at her niece's birthday party or something --didn't phrase the search as a question, as in "Feeling old at 30? Not me."

Nor was it a firm, confident statement: "Feeling old at 30!"

It wasn't even an acceptance of age: "Do you feel old at 30? Let's feel old together!"

No, sadly it was just plain: "feeling old at 30, can't use capital letters or adequate punctuation, kinda depressed, need answers, help me google"

So I change my mind and want you to know, you anonymous googler, that I do offer up some consolation. Cry on my blog's shoulder, pick yourself up off the floor, put on a coat of mofo'n mascara and go to plentyoffish

Go catch a winner so that I can stop using lame fishing metaphors.

PS - other honourable mentions that I was too tired to come up with puns/extended metaphors for: Jdate, and the infamous AshleyMadison.

connect 4!

Images used with the permission of all three dogs

I have a really long, boring, stupid, boring essay to write --and when I finish it I get to reward myself with another. This is THE dreaded period of time in a school year, so here are some links to a few people who apparently can balance work with awesome.

She still manages to get dressed during exam period. And not just getting dressed in the I-have-to-cover-my-private-parts-what-is-clean? sense, but rather the wow-she-consistently-looks-cute sense. I tend to favour ninja turtle-esque headbands that make me look lame.

Stereotypical stereotypes.

I get fat just looking at these pictures...but in a good way?

I can has kittenz?

On now, Blitzen! Wrong time of year, I know, but just go already.